Reverend Mama is Expecting...

One fish, two fish, pink fish or blue fish?

Things are going a little bit better this week. I’m 16 weeks along, and think that I’m coming out of the fog and discomfort of the first four months. I say this because I’ve stayed awake past 8:30 for two nights in a row, which is a marvelous gift. Did you know I live with a very tall, good looking man, who is quite funny and we share many things in common!? For real! I haven’t seen him in ages! I quite like him, and think that we might have a lovely future together, if I can just stay awake for it.

I’m still pretty queasy in the afternoons, and find that I have to eat protein-laden meals layered between slices of deli-fresh bread on a bi-hourly basis, but that’s okay. The Quiznos down the street is starting to recognize me, and there isn’t a turkey reuben or cuban sandwich in a 5 mile radius that’s protected from my cravings. Also? Mexican food. I cannot get enough.

In other news, tiny Boo is now avocado sized. Just to catch up, we have grown from a lemon in week 14 to:

Week 15: Apple!

Week 16: Avocado; or, a great way to remember how much I love guacamole

By week 17 (turnip), I’ll be watching the Colbert Report and drinking something other than sparkling fruit beverages!

This baby - oh, this baby. We are 2 weeks and 6 days from finding out the gender, and I am so eager to know about this person. I struggled in the early days of finding out, confessing to dear Kara that I feared utter disappointment if this was another boy.

In low-key efforts to satiate my girl-longing, I went shopping for tiny girl clothes. This has never been a problem in the past. I’ve found adorable things for my Goddaughter, promised and sworn that “If I ever have a girl, I’m buying [girly baby legs, a tutu, fabulous holiday dresses].” And, with full permission from my own conscience, I went shopping, only to find… nothing. I kept drifting over to the soft, snap-front blue and green striped sleepers, the handsome and stylish zip neck sweaters, the hilarious t-shirts that proclaim eternal love and affection for one’s mother (you never see girls in these kinds of things. Why is that?!). I walked away empty handed, and slightly chagrined.

It seems, of course, that I love boys. I know them. I get them. I have two of them, and they are absolutely the light of my life. Even as a kid, most of my friends were boys. Now that it’s Christmastime, and the Gap has been running near-constant ads for their “do whatever you want-ak-kah” winter clothing line, I’ve become less excited about the prospect of having a girl and more… terrified.

Have you seen the Gap commercial with the girls and their comfy sweaters proclaiming in near-shout, “How cute are these boots?! How cute are these boots!” I want to gouge out my eyes. They’re sassy and adorable and absolutely the antithesis of my own understanding of myself as a girl. I don’t know what we would do with a sassy person who demands frilly things. I mean, I’m sure we’d comply out of sheer fear, but it just seems so foreign.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying being awake to do things like see my husband and watch the Sing-Off. I would like to reclaim some of my wit and creativity, but I understand most of that is being used up in other areas these days.

For now, we are enjoying the anticipation and the not-knowing. We also have some lovely name prospects (and no, I’m not telling you. Not yet.), which really does help frame the identity of this little Avocado.